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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Here's to the small things...

The thought struck me last night- Sawyer is 9 months old and we have not dropped her! Now this must read as such a simple and small measure of "good" parenting but it strangely felt really good. I highly doubt that every child by the age of 9 months has been dropped accidentally, rolled off of something, or just plain had a unexpected tumble- but I was really proud that ours hadn't.

I remember when Sawyer was just a tiny babe and I watched Aaron walk away from her while she was on the changing table, so he could go get her a change of clothes. With informative care I told him what you have to worry about when you walk away from them in a place they could roll off of. "You would feel horrible if something happened and she fell." Here we are, 9 months of sky high throws, turning our back on the changing table, and "just sit here for a minute" moments and Sawyer has never had a tumble. I am proud!

When I was a nanny, on one of many trips with all the kids to the beach, I packed 9 month old Jackson into the stroller to walk with the girls to the concession stand for ice cream. Well I hadn't buckled Jackson in, he was going through a wiggly phase, and he came out the front of the stroller and I rolled right over him with the stroller. I FELT HORRIBLE! He thought it was funny! Olivia, 6 at the time, says- "That's why you are supposed to buckle him in." I picked him up, covered in sand and away we went to the concession stand- leaving the stroller in that spot until the walk back. That moment was strangely formative. On the ride home the girls asked me,  "Are you going to tell Mom about Jackson's fall this morning?" And for a moment I actually thought about it. Of course with  6 and 7 year old witnesses she was going to know one way or another but naturally I was going to tell her. She laughed it off and said something along the lines of- if that is the worst mistake you ever make then you will earn a place in the Nanny record books. But I took a different kind of caution for the details after that.

Here I am now, a mother to my own child realizing, I can't say for certain I carried that into being a parent to Sawyer. I am relaxed, not afraid of germs, think perfection is for the birds, know that accidents happen and act cautiously but not overly.

So I celebrate that at 9 months we have not dropped Sawyer! YAY US! And maybe that is something we all need to do, seek out and celebrate the small accomplishments rather than acknowledge our own self-criticisms.



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