take care of the living first

...or why my house isn't always clean

My grandma was a Native American with a unreliable mind. She was eccentric and strange to some, never kept a clean house and loved the order of things stacked one on top of another. On more than one occasion I remember her telling me to "always take care of the living first" and that is how I remember her. Watering her plants, feeding the cats, birds, fish, guinea pigs, and dogs, and doing what she could to keep my belly full.This responsibility to the living creatures she surrounded herself with was was her burden and purpose. While my grandpa got up in the morning to drink coffee and do busy errands that amounted to nothing, my grandma stayed home, milled around and cared for the living.

By many standards my grandma was what you would call crazy. I always knew she was a bit different but never realized the depth of it until I was an adult. But I love her madness to this day and those words are a simple phrase I live my life by.  Being in a career that involves both paper and people work, I always keep in mind to care for the living first. At home I will walk right by a sink full of dishes to feed a meowing cat without an ounce of guilt. I want to live this life simply, surrounded by happy animals and being present for the living and ever-changing details.

Although I have room for improvement, I am proud of this life so far. Don't get me wrong, some days I wish I was a compulsive cleaner that cared about the details that make for an always-clean-house, but its not me and it never will be.I go for the things that make for happy memories, even if that means a mess will be made. My childhood lacked a lot of things, including an overly common word children hear so much of- NO! In every situation Sawyer finds her wild little self in these days, I step back and think to myself- is she going to hurt herself doing this? If the answer is no then I allow her to carry on. There is no consideration to the mess it will make or how many little things I will have to pick up because of it- I want to let her explore, fulfill her curiosity, and not constantly be told NO! So have I let her play in the dogs water dish? Yes! She loves it! Did I lay a towel down to avoid a slippery disaster- yes! When Aaron looked at me like I was crazy, did it phase me? Nope! I come from a long line of crazy and my only hope is that I channel it well.

So cheers to the living! I will care for, cherish, feed, love-on, and adore all the heart beats (big & small) in my space until they don't beat any more.